Assignment Twenty- Sam Clark

How to have an Existential Crisis

1. Wonder how God could let bad things happen to good people.
2. Remember that God is good, making all His (his?) actions good.
3. Rebut that we are made in the image of God, meaning our morals should roughly correspond to his.
4. Think about this for a little while, then ponder the moral double standard in the Bible.
5. Recall that God is by nature incomprehensible, ergo our confusion over his acts is understandable but unprofitable. We, in short, can’t understand something beyond logic.
6. Dejectedly find that if we cast aside logic we’ll be Scientologists.
7. Try to remember the unfinished calculus homework.
8. Reason that we have proof of illogic (or paradoxes or whatever we’ll call it) because of the what-if machine’s impossibility.
9. Become confused over proof of that which goes against logic.
10. Go down this rabbit hole concerning the boundaries between logic and illogic, ever wondering if a unifying theory exists.
11. Actually remember the unfinished calculus homework.
12. Think that human intelligence is too limited to understand matters of logic and illogic, which by their very definition go against deductive reasoning.
13. Attempt to do calculus homework.
14. Think that human intelligence is too limited to understand illogic of calculus, which by its very definition goes against deductive reasoning.
15. Wonder if Ms. Dewees and God are the same person.
16. Put calculus away.
17. Remember why humanity needs religion.
18. Think that personal encounters with the divine are as good a proof as logic.
19. Check my privilege.
20. Know that the only thing in this world that won’t eat me alive is God.
21. Watch the “This is Water” speech again.
22. Throw away basic debates over universal morality. Turns out you didn’t need them!
23. Read some of the Bible.
24. Believe in God (or is it Ms. Dewees?)