Assignment 13: Doug Vaughan

The Laws Of Christmas
Everyone must conform to these laws of Christmas if they are of any Christian sect or participate in Christmas in any way. The number one rule of Christmas is to spread its cheer. Make it known that its Christmas time by playing Christmas music, wearing ugly sweater, making many holiday treats, and most importantly wish everyone you know and meet a merry Christmas. Children under the age of 14 must behave nice and mature coming upon Christmas time or else Santa will give them lumps of coal instead of presents. People who are 14 or older are required to give gifts to their family members as they are of giving age. When you receive a gift you must at the least act happy about it even if it is of ugly Christmas socks as this spreads Christmas cheer. You are required a Christmas tree in your home or office with a meeting the standard height to decoration ratio of 1ft: 5 decorations. Infractions of these laws of Christmas automatically puts you on Santa's naughty list. Being on his naughty list brings you bad luck for the entire new year however if you conform to these laws you will be granted a happy new year.